I’ll try to make this short because I don’t want to become obnoxious. Then again, I write for me more than anything else, so if it gets long, so be it. It’s a release for me, which I definitely need.
What would I like to do right now? If I had a lawn chair or a hammock, I’d go outside, away from the chaos of my house and go to sleep in it. I would sleep for hours and just enjoy the feeling of the sun on my skin when I woke up, not rushing inside to work, but taking my time. I would be able to afford for someone to come in and fully organize and clean my house and when I came back inside in three or four hours time, it would be done and I could start supper in peace, not worrying about being without certain dishes or utensils because the sink was full of dirty ones. Wait – I’m starting to focus on the negative. Stay with the dream..
Mike would come home and play with the kids in the backyard while I fed Erik on the deck and snapped pictures of all the fun they were having. We’d sit down after that for a nice healthy supper where everyone eats proper portions of things and doesn’t whine or complain. After that, the kids would go and play in their room while Mike was cleaning up the dishes. We’d sit together for awhile and maybe watch a movie with the kids before bed. Then they would get ready for bed and go to sleep within minutes of closing their little eyes.
Mike and I would then have time to spend together – playing a game or watching a movie or just talking. Erik would go to bed and sleep a nice long stretch before waking me up to eat.
Okay, so the part about someone coming in and cleaning has got to be the most outlandish thing I’ve ever heard..or written. However, aside from that, the rest of these things aren’t totally out of reach.
Today was Bible study at Tara’s. The kids played quietly in the yard almost the whole time, but at one point when I went down to check on them, Jenny had taken off her pants and underwear. Further inspection led me to find said items of clothing discarded and very wet. Fortunately, I had spare underwear and Tara had pants that she could wear while hers dried. She later got dog food thrown at her and ants crawling all over her and sand in her mouth and eyes. Not such a good day for Jenny. We came home and had a package from my mother (Thanks, mom!) with clothes for the boys and three new dresses for Jenny, including a fairy dress with a wand and a halo. I managed to keep Jenny from trying it on because she was so dirty and sat them down for lunch. They didn’t feel like eating. Jenny may have had five bites of soup and I’m not sure that Elias ate anything at all. I gave them a bath after lunch and made the mistake of putting baby oil in their hair. Jenny has had some flaking on her scalp that looked like cradle cap, and what I always did when they were babies was put baby oil on their heads and then wash it out. I washed Jenny’s hair twice and it’s still all greasy. This probably means that she’ll have to have multiple baths in the next week just to get the stuff out of her hair. Because of her skin being so bad (she has eczema), we don’t bathe her very often.
While I was trying to dry Jenny’s hair, Elias was standing diaper-less in the bathroom. I moved my foot and found a puddle – he decided to pee on the floor! What a nice boy. Seriously, I can’t wait until he is potty trained.
All of this and the mounting mess led me to my title. I literally still don’t know whether I should laugh or cry right now. If I laugh about it, I’ll end up crying anyway, so maybe I should just sit down and have a good cry to begin with. But then I don’t really feel like crying is going to do me any good. I guess if I feel like I’m on the verge of tears, I should take a nap. It’s often a clue that I’m exhausted when I feel like I could cry at any moment.
But if I sleep, I won’t get anything done.
But then I’m not getting anything done right now, either.