Day 15: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

For a reminder of what I am doing this month, read this post.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.

This verse sums up our lives – there are times for ups and downs and no matter what we do, we will have them.  Today was a day for weeping in my life – a day for mourning.  One of my core beliefs was torn down yet again and I was faced with knowing the truth and being told to believe a lie.  I can’t really explain the situation in detail because it is private, but in essence, I faced off with another person in opposing beliefs and came out feeling like a loser again.  I know what God has spoken to me and I know that my eyes are opened to something that many others are closed to.  My intent is not to boast in this – it is simply a truth that many people have chosen to ignore.  It is something that when I argue about, I alienate people, which I don’t want to do.  And yet, what can you do when you have something bubbling in you and are told not to let it out?  I can try to keep it in, but it inevitably comes out, often in a big way.  I suppose the part of this verse that applies just as much as those about mourning and weeping is that about having a time to speak and a time to keep silent.  I think in this case, it would apply to both myself and the other person in this situation.  We both said things we shouldn’t have, and I think we both regret it.  I need to learn to keep my passion about this subject in at times because it simply will not be accepted by others.  I suppose I am just wondering now how I can fix this situation.  I feel like curling up and going to sleep for a very long time – it didn’t help that this confrontation happened on a day when I was overwhelmingly exhausted.  I can easily pretend that it never happened when I’m around this person, but I am still going to be living with truth every day that literally hurts to keep in.

Today I don’t have words of wisdom for anyone else.  I need guidance of my own and I need comfort from God.  The best I can do is try to learn from this scripture and others and to grow from this situation.  Meanwhile, I feel heartbroken and alone and I may continue to feel this way for some time.  The important thing is that I know God is on my side.  I know He has spoken to me and that He loves me.  I only wish that everyone could hear the same word from Him that I have.

Sorry if this is cryptic and confusing – I hope to be back to normal tomorrow.  I just needed to vent a bit along with giving my reflection on this verse.  Thanks for reading!

This verse of the day comes from VOTD.

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