In my heart, I know that each day is new and that the things challenging me today may well be gone or changed tomorrow. Each morning I can look at the day with optimism and motivation to get things done. Motivation to be a better mother – to yell less and hug more. To leave the house cleaner than when I got up. To spend more time in creative outlet than laziness.
This all sounds so easy. It sounds achievable. However, life with three children under four doesn’t allow for such optimism on most days. I can be as optimistic as I want, but it does not mean that my youngest will let me put him down all day, that my two year old will be nice to his siblings and not wet his pants and that my nearly four year old little girl will do as she’s told and clean her room without throwing a tantrum.
At the moment, I’m listening to Jenny crying about as loud as she can, Elias yelling something from under the crack in his door, and Erik whining while he jumps in the jolly jumper. I’m drinking a chocolate peanut butter banana smoothie. It just sounded good and I assumed I could drink it in peace. Apparently I was wrong.
You wouldn’t know it, but my entries are frequently written over the course of the day, or at the very least, an hour or so. Yes, there are time when I am uninterrupted and can dash one out in ten minutes. This is not that kind of day. I decided it was time to make lunch – mashed banana for Erik and Sponge Bob alphaghetti for the kids. Their room is still not clean, but the plan at the moment is to take Erik in there with me and feed him while they clean. They definitely do a lot better when there’s someone there the whole time to coach them a bit. They can all go to bed just as soon as that’s all done and then I can hopefully have two hours to myself to do whatever I feel like doing. Well, maybe not whatever, but almost. First I’ll have to decide whether I’m awake enough to do anything, or if I’d rather just have a nap while they are.
Erik has been very strange at night lately, waking up around his normal time (sometime around two) and eating, but then crying in his sleep and squirming terribly. It seems to help if I put him back in his bed rather than keep him in ours, but then he’s awake an hour later. I tried letting him cry last night, but it went on too long for me to ignore. I don’t know if he’s teething, or what, but I really wish it would stop! I can get more than eight hours of “sleep” and be quite tired in the morning because of it.
Well, nearly another hour has passed and the kids have had their lunch, Erik has been nursed and the room is clean…enough. I couldn’t stay awake while I was in their room, though, and ended up sleeping curled up on the toddler bed while they were cleaning. I think I’d better at least do dishes, but then I think I’ll be smart and have a nap.