Poor, neglected blog

Oh, my poor blog, I’m sorry.  I just can’t seem to find the motivation to write these days.  Or the time.  Crafting and feeling sick has taken up my time lately and I have neglected you.

I am eagerly awaiting the end of certain responsibilities in my real life and looking forward to simpler times.  I am waiting to get a deep breath of figurative fresh air.  I am holding off on dreaming much lately because I can’t stand the pain of waking and finding these dreams to be impossibilities.

I am lonely as of late – spending a lot of time at home, wishing for friends who are not here.  Trying to keep busy with craft swaps and cyber-friends so that I don’t think much about my loneliness.  I’ve been here before – it’s nothing new – but I never imagined it happening again.  With each child, my heart becomes fuller but my life becomes more isolated. 

I yearn for a vacation – a real one.  I worry that the vacation we are planning will fall through for one reason or another.  That money will be too tight, that we won’t have people to watch our children or that we will just let it slide like we have in the past.  It has always been my goal to go away for a bit when expecting another baby and yet it’s never happened.  Sometimes I question my motives – ask myself whether it’s okay to want this so much, just a week with Mike and no one else.

My enthusiasm for projects I’ve started has waned, but I must finish.  I’m in two more craft swaps and then it will probably be in my best interest to stay out of any unless they are very small.  It’s enjoyable at times and the chance to make a sort of friend does seem to make my quality of life somewhat better for a time.  But when it comes down to it, it’s just more to get done in the day, more money to spend, more things to fill the space I don’t have.

So, dear journal of sorts (you know how I feel about the word blog), I’m sorry I’ve left you alone for so long, but I simply do not have inspiration as of late.  I only have a sick stomach and an overwhelmed mind.

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2 Comments

Filed under Blogging, Life, in general

2 responses to “Poor, neglected blog

  1. Anna

    I really really hope that your holiday works out for you!!!! I think it’s good to want to spend time alone with your husband & give him special attention & also to give yourself some sanity time. I’m excited already for you, I imagine you with some good books & some relaxing time to have those “deep” conversations with your husband, cool photography opportunities, lots of food that you didn’t have to prepare, restful nights, & new & beautiful scenery & experiences. Go for it! Like I remind myself, this IS life… live it like you mean it. 🙂

  2. Hey! Don’t feel bad. It can get quite hard to keep up with blogging when all you really want to do is puke and take a nap;) If you look at my blog archives you’ll find that I did not write even one post in September 08. That was sometime during my first or second trimester. Its all a blur now, but all I know is that blogging was the furthest thing from my mind!

    I’m sorry you feel lonely:( I think its quite big of you to admit it though. I think many of us feel the same from time to time, but won’t admit it.

    Nevertheless, I think its those lonely times that push me to the prayer closet the most because I come to the conclusion that no one understands me and there is no one for me to discuss how no one understanding me makes me feel, save the Lord. So, I talk to him and am reminded, yet again, how He is always there and that I am always in good company;)

    I’m praying you feel better soon and that everything will go well with your vacation!

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