Just so you know, we’re still alive and kicking. I always hate it when bloggers go off the map for months at a time, but it seems I’m about to be guilty of that myself. At the moment, Ben is sleeping on my bed so I can sit forward in my desk chair and type (instead of sitting sideways with my right foot rocking his chair constantly). I’ve been suffering from pretty extreme exhaustion almost every day AND my dad and brother were up last weekend so things have been a bit crazy for awhile. The exhaustion may be iron deficiency again, so I’m back on my iron. Things are getting done, amazingly enough, but certainly not at break-neck speed. I do laundry; it sits in baskets for days at a time. I do dishes but then don’t feel like emptying the dishwasher so the dirty dishes pile up on the counter, making it harder for me to prepare food, making it tempting to go out to eat all the time. It’s a vicious cycle. One I’m prepared to ride for a bit longer.
If I’m depressed, it’s because of my weight and the amount of time I end up home alone with the kids. Mike is putting in ten hour days now and will probably be working at least eight hours on Saturdays as well. By the time he comes home, I’m worn out and usually on my last nerve and just want to run away for an hour or two. But I still have to take Ben with me everywhere and it often doesn’t really feel worth it to load him up and cart him everywhere I go. As for the weight issue – my weight loss stalled in a big way – I only got rid of half my baby weight and then completely quit losing it. I’m not saying that I expected to lose fifty-five pounds (ouch) in seven weeks, but it would be great if I could lose a pound a week..or maybe five pounds a week. Hey, a girl can dream, right?
With the stall in weight loss comes the need to re-examine what and how much I’m eating. I can chalk some of it up to nursing, but I can’t excuse eating junk when I’m already satisfied. I just want to eat all the time – I certainly don’t need to. Ben is still eating every two hours throughout the day so he’s helping me burn a few calories but I know I have to cut way back on certain things if I want to get back to normal.
My addiction to carbs is the big thing – I eat primarily whole grain, good carbs – I just eat too many of them. I’m trying to make a point of starting my day with a bowl of yogurt with a small amount of granola and one or two eggs (not in the bowl of yogurt, by the way). I find that it is the best thing for me to eat to keep me satisfied until a few hours later. I’m eating unsalted cashews and string cheese as snacks and trying hard to stick to water to drink, although I’m going to have to wean myself off of coffee, slushies, root beer floats, etc. It’s not an everyday problem, but I often grab something when I’m out running errands. As for when I’m home, if it’s not in the house, I can’t drink it. The same goes for eating, so I’m going to stop buying a lot of the things I’ve been snacking on.
Anyway, I know this is going to be hard at first because it always is, but for me, it’s not a diet; it’s just getting back to eating right and not overdoing the sugar and carbs.
Well, as per the usual, this has taken me a few hours to write, with all the various interruptions. A very large box of Melaleuca products showed up, which got the kids bouncing off the walls in excitement, lunch has been made and mostly consumed and it’s nearly time for naps. Ben is still on my bed, but mysteriously is just lying there looking around not making a sound. Weird kid. 🙂 Oh, yeah, did I mention that he has slept from 10:30 or 11:00 until 4:00 the last two days?? I don’t want him sleeping all the way through the night but this is great. I could get used to it.