Something tells me I’ve used that title before.

Yesterday, I looked around the house and said to Mike,

“Something’s gotta give.  Things are bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.”  And maybe I said “bad” a few more times..maybe.

So he and the kids cleaned up some and I cleaned up some, and things improved.  They are not perfect…but I’m only kidding myself if I think my house will be perfectly clean at any point while my children are still young.

Our health has also improved – Mike got sick on Friday and stayed sick through the weekend, but seems to be better today.  I am mostly over this thing – thank goodness – but Ben is still fighting it.  He’s lost his voice a bit and has this squeaky little hoarse cry.  It’s rather pitiful and also quite funny.  I took a video of it and posted it on Facebook – because that’s just the kind of mom I am.  Not only do I want to laugh at my kids, I want others to as well.

Just kidding…..sort of.

Jenny is needy today.  It’s hard on me…I wish she had a sibling who could keep her entertained for this two hour block of time every day while the boys sleep.  She and Elias tend to fight when he doesn’t nap – probably because he should be napping and not up playing.

I sent her to the living room to sit on the couch.  Now she’s crying and making me feel like bad mommy for wanting some quiet time where she’s not asking me questions constantly or telling me stories.  I enjoy her creativity and like doing things with her, but I need some space!  Don’t we all??

It’s just about time to make supper…another day is gone and Mike will be home soon.  I end up feeling torn when he comes home – part of me loves the time we all have together as a family and the time we have alone together, but the other part just wants to take advantage of him being home to take off and do something alone.  We seriously – SERIOUSLY – need a date night soon.  Maybe if we had regular date nights, I wouldn’t have this issue.  As it is, we haven’t had a real date since my birthday. 

Just so you know, I sometimes ramble just because I need to ramble, and I hope that maybe something I say will make another mom feel better – knowing that she’s not alone feeling the way we all do at times.  Even if I knew for sure that no one read this, I would still write.  It’s who I am, even if that identity gets pushed aside most of the time by the wife and mother identity.  I was a writer long before I became a wife or mother.

There.  I got a lot more out than I thought I would.  And Jenny isn’t crying anymore…she’s talking to herself instead.  Which is worse, I wonder?

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Filed under Life, in general, The H Word

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