Sometimes I’m faced with a situation and I know the right way to respond as an adult. It is often possible for me to control the way I react on the outside, but my emotions go crazy inside.
I tend to react strongest to situations I feel left out of; two friends going for coffee when I was home, bored, two family members (or units) getting together for a meal and not inviting us, a conversation two feet from me that I wish I could be included in but for some reason am being excluded from.
I assume that there is something from my childhood that makes me react this way, but I can’t say what it is exactly. I have abandonment issues because of my mom leaving when I was young, but I’m not sure that this is completely born out if that situation.
I feel that in so many ways I have overcome my past and moved on, but this is one area I can’t seem to move beyond. I am brought nearly to tears when I find out that close friends or family members were doing things without me. I feel alone and I feel sad even when I may have been feeling just fine moments before.
How in the world do I get over something like this? I don’t have the answer and I wish I did.