Better?

Is it better to write what I’m feeling, even if it sounds like complaining, or write only when I have something good to say?

Is it better to write emotionally or avoid writing altogether when I’m not feeling great?

Is it better to gloss over the bad stuff or tell it like it is?

I was reading a blog recently and noticed that it had more than forty followers, even though it doesn’t seem like the author is anyone well known.  I asked myself why she would have so many more readers than I would – seeing that she is also a stay at home mom/homemaker.  I thought it through for a very short time, coming to the quick conclusion that she is almost always positive.  She rarely complains, writes often about her love for her kids and her husband and when she does talk about the rough parts of motherhood, she does so with humour or with requests for prayer. 

I would like to be more like her.  I don’t know if she writes this way intentionally, trying to be positive even if she might not feel like being positive, or if she is truly this positive all the time.  If she does it intentionally even when she feels like complaining, I understand her and envy her for her ability to avoid negativity.  I wish I could do the same.  I suppose with practice I could. 

There are three camps of people I communicate with regularly; the people who don’t have kids and don’t really care when I talk about the negative things, the people with kids who understand why I do it and commiserate with me, and the people who want kids and can’t have them and for whom complaining mothers are heartbreaking and impossible to understand.  I don’t want to offend people, so when I share things on Facebook I try to avoid being too negative. 

But here I feel freedom to say what I want to say. What is more important to me?  Saying what I feel: that life is hard, that I’m depressed (there, I said it), that my kids sometimes just don’t listen to me and it drives me crazy, that my husband works too much and if I could, I would never leave the house?  Or is attracting readers and making them feel good more important? 

This is a hard question for me to answer.  When I read other blogs that are filled with negative thinking and complaining, it bugs me.  I don’t feel like going on reading them when there is hardly ever anything positive shared in them.  I don’t want to make other people feel that way.

The question is still not answered.  I’m not sure that it ever will be.

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4 Comments

Filed under Blogging, Life, in general, Melancholy

4 responses to “Better?

  1. I don’t feel like you’re complaining but venting. But that is why I write…to vent. I am thankful for family and friends and revelation and hope most of all but I write out loud to sort out my thoughts. I was quiet for years and now I think I say too much, fighting out of my depression…anyways, this post of yours makes me wonder which person you speak about that I am like. I am not the positive but do I bring encouragement and vent at the same time. The more people I let in, the more I want to guard my words and pretend to be positive, or at least write when I am in a good place. That would defeat the purpose! I just hope I am balanced but I am a little toward the melancholic too much. I do want your input….and be honest:)

    • Katie

      I think that your situation is unique. You have been through something that not many people have and you are willing to talk about it, which is eye opening to those of us who haven’t been there, and I suspect it would be reassuring to those who have. I don’t feel like avoiding your blog when you write about the bad stuff – but there are other bloggers who do nothing but gripe about the situation they are in (they’re broke, they are unhappy with their role in life or their job and they talk about it all the time, etc). When there isn’t really ever a break from that, it gets old. But often the situations they talk about are things they could change if they tried hard enough and got their hands on the right resources. Your situation is not something you can change – you’ve already experienced some heartbreaking things and you’re trying to reflect and heal.
      I guess where this came from was looking back at how many readers I have had in the past when I was consistently writing positively. When I talk too much about “real” life, my readership goes down. I guess it doesn’t really matter in the end, but it feels like it does at times.

  2. Anounymous

    I think that when you’re genuinely down.. write about it.. but fill in the gaps with the positive things that are going on… because then the random posts about being down makes you real to your readers… but they know that you’ll “bounce” back in your next post w/ something that’s positive…

    At least that’s my take on it.. I don’t mind reading the occasional downer post when I know the writer generally is a positive writer…

    We’re all human with human emotions..

    ((hugs))

  3. Carly

    I think you have every right to be honest on your blog. I appreciate that more than just fluff stuff. There’s definitely something to be said about trying to stay positive even when things are terrible, but at the same time sometimes we just really need to vent and get out our feelings, our sorrows and our pains.

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