Right now I feel like a coin, being tossed up in the air over and over again. I mostly feel like I’m heads-up, feeling good when I land on the ground again. But there are these moments of landing heads-down. Small moments of feeling the darkness creeping back. Asking myself what could I do to make things better? Is there anything I could do? Like I said before, this feels like a high. One I will probably come down from relatively soon. Even with my house looking almost as clean as it was before. Even with Mike home for the whole weekend and some time spent chatting with friends this morning. I just can’t shake it.
And I really do love my kids, but I just wish I could have a day with Mike and only Mike. For now it’s just not possible (counting Ben, who can’t be left for a full day). I want a vacation. I want a date night – the old kind where you go to dinner and a movie or even bowling. Sometimes I just want to be young and carefree for a few hours.
The thing is, whenever I leave my kids with someone for any length of time, I spend the whole time I’m away thinking about them and worrying that something is going wrong. When I leave Ben, I’m sure he’s going to pick that hour of that day to need to be fed more often than normal. I’m sure that when I get back home, I will get a report of all the terrible things that happened and how desperate the sitter was to have us come home. So I just don’t leave them unless someone offers or it’s a very special occasion (birthdays and anniversaries). Is this normal?
I read part of a blog entry that questioned the common belief that couples must have date night for their marriages to survive. We hardly ever have a date night without any kids and we’re doing okay. Well, our marriage is doing fine. I’m not so good. But anyway, I think I agree with the blogger that wrote about this. I think it’s good, but not imperative. I think it is refreshing, but not necessary.
What do you think? I don’t ask questions of my audience very often, but I want to know. Has your marriage survived months without date nights or do you feel like it is a necessity to maintaining health in your marriage? Do you get what you need just from heading out grocery shopping with your husband or does it need to be formal? What about family activities instead of dates? Just hanging out together?
Anyway, I’m curious. Most people seem to believe that your marriage will practically fall apart if you don’t have time away from your kids, just the two of you. I’m not so sure I agree 100%.