There are two things happening right now.
One friend is suffering. Really suffering. Looking back and seeing so much pain and not having a whole lot of hope for the future. My heart breaks for her.
One friend is bringing a new life into the world. Starting something new with this birth. My heart rejoices with her.
Where am I? In the middle, looking back and forth between these two realities. Realizing that there is good here. And there is bad. They are not always balanced, as much as we would like to think they are.
Tomorrow, or whenever this little girl comes into the world, I will go to visit her in the hospital. I will hold her in my arms and smile down at her and hug her mother. I might even cry a little. My heart will soar. New babies do that to me.
I will also continue to think and pray for my other dear friend. I cannot explain why she has gone through the things she has. I cannot give her an answer, I can’t say it’s going to be okay. I can only hope. I can hope that she doesn’t give up. Because as bad as things can be – there is always potential for good. Even in the darkest places, there can be light. People walk away from terrible, terrible things and survive. Not only survive, but thrive. It’s just fact. Not everyone chooses to walk away from it. Some stay in that place for a very long time before they are able to. Some need help to get out, they simply cannot pull away without someone holding their hand and tugging with them.
I don’t have all the answers. I have very little. But I can see now that things are not that bad for me. It’s usually an easy thing to see once you look at the pain others are going through. I may stay sick. I may have to work very hard to get over this melancholy that sweeps over me so often. But I have hope. I have a Saviour who loves me.