Category Archives: Kiddos

I have a two week old.

And his name is Samuel. Sam, Sammy, sweetie. He’s just lovely.

I also have a scar across my belly now (I won’t post a photo of that, though). I have peace about it. There was nothing we could have done. When my doctor broke my water, he was breech. There is a LOT more to the story. I’ll post that later on my Birth Stories page.

All that matters right now is that things are good. Mike is home on six weeks of leave – he’ll go back June 11th – because I can’t lift more than ten pounds until then. Sam is so beautiful, sleeps well, nurses wonderfully and is the family favourite around here at the moment. The kids fight over who gets to hold him next. I’m healing well from what I can tell and tomorrow my doctor will tell me whether I’m right about that. I’ve lost an astonishing amount of weight, which feels really great.

That’s all for now. I have written my story somewhere else so as soon as I can copy and paste it, it will be here, too. It’s a good story, even if things really didn’t go as I had hoped (I was induced after all and then there was the c-section). I had peace about the whole thing, had a wonderful, basically painless labour (made painless by knowledge and breathing rather than drugs), and in the end, had a perfect little boy who weighed 8 lb. 9 oz and was 21.5 inches long. He’s terrific. 🙂


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Filed under Kiddos, Nine Months

Still alive and everything is fine. I promise.

I’m still here. And everything is just fine. I promise.

But something happened in the fall. Mike and I went away to Georgia to a ministry called Be In Health and their course called For My Life. It changed our lives. I got my freedom. I may not be able to explain it all here, but something unusual happened in connection with that newfound freedom.

I didn’t have an overwhelming desire to create anymore.

It didn’t feel like a loss. It felt like what it was – freedom from what had been at times, an obsession. Whether it was writing or cooking or crafting, there seemed to be a need in me to create. That need faded quickly without my really noticing.

So, five months have gone by since I wrote here. Only a handful of times have I even considered updating my blog. It just didn’t feel important anymore.

But now, with three and a half weeks (maybe more, maybe less) to go before my fifth child is expected – yes, time flies – I thought I owed the occasional reader an update.

Things are good. My husband is a changed man in so many ways that I cannot even describe. We all seem healthier. I generally have more patience. My Braxton Hicks don’t hurt like they have in the past. I have freedom from fear and anxiety. It’s good.

And now, we are waiting for this baby to show up. I feel so in love with this child and so overwhelmed with curiousity as to who he or she is. And whether this baby is a he or a she. Jenny, of course, is rooting hard for a sister. Erik generally says he’d like a puppy when we ask him if he thinks the baby is a boy or a girl. Elias lately has just been saying, “Boy or girl.” Well, it is one of those. We know it’s not a puppy, anyway. Ben probably doesn’t really understand what’s going on, although when  he sees my bare belly, he inevitably says, “Baby!” and gives it a hug. Or he blows raspberries on it. Depends on his mood.

Homeschooling is going well, although we have been unschooling since Christmas. Pregnancy hasn’t made it too hard, but I found that too much structure was just stressing us out. So my kids are learning more from life than from me (directly) at the moment. We are happy with it. Next year may look different, but I’m satisfied with how things are going at the moment. Jenny wants to write cards and draw pictures and make up stories all day, Elias has recently started sounding words out phonetically when he says them (as in, “B-e-n is f-u-nn-y.”). We have work to do, but things are fine. Erik continues to do best on his own. He has been far healthier than years past and has not had any issues with his lungs since before he turned three. We are praising God for this. He doesn’t get along well with his brothers a good deal of the time, but goes off and does his own thing. It works for us. Ben has been amazing us with his speech since he was not even eighteen months old. He can count to thirteen, parrots everything anybody says, and if you ask him to repeat a phrase and he does it wrong the first time, he goes back and corrects himself. No kidding. At twenty-two months. We love it. He’s a pretty happy kid these days, he just doesn’t like waking up from naps.

They’re all beautiful and happy and healthy. Daddy is working hard at work, Mama is working hard at home when she has the energy. 🙂 I find I am probably working harder at having patience these days, but the last thing I want to do is to go back into fear regarding the arrival of this baby. It will come when the time is right. I know that. It occurred to me the other day that when I was pregnant with Ben, I was terrified of being overdue and when I was overdue, I was terrified of being induced. I got both. In Job, there is a verse that says, “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.” (Job 3:25, KJV) I have learned that when we spend our lives in fear, it is often those things that come upon us. Our bodies react to this fear and all sorts of things start to malfunction. This isn’t just theory – it’s proven fact (research the fight or flight hormone cortisol and its affect on the body). So I gave that up yesterday. I said, “You know what, I am certain that this is going to be different. I am not going to fear being late – even if I may be – and I am not going to fear induction.” I have every intent of putting my doctor off as long as I can before I am induced, and I will not cave to it this time unless they can prove to me that my baby is in danger. I am convinced that Ben’s birth was traumatic for both of us and I have no desire to repeat that. I have called this baby my “peace and freedom baby” and I want my labour and delivery to reflect that. I trust that we won’t even get to the point of fighting the doctor regarding an induction.

Anyway, that’s that. While this is not the end of my blog, it will be coming soon. I can feel it. And I may start another. One not so focused on the fact that I hate housekeeping (no, I haven’t become a fan of it yet). One focused on my faith, my home, my children, in a positive light as often as possible. Or I may decide to lay all of this to rest and wait for a time when I cannot stop the words from coming, a time when I feel God is directly leading me to write. It generally turns out better when I wait for times like that anyway.

Take care, readers. If any of you are still around. I’ll at least post an update when this little one arrives. Or sometime in the first six months of his or her life. I promise.


Filed under Kiddos, Life, in general, Nine Months

April 19th, 2012

Estimated arrival date of baby number five. 🙂


Filed under All things mommy and daddy related, Happiness, Kiddos, Nine Months


First off, today was Ben’s first birthday. I made him a cake (which ended up tasting like baking soda…but at least the icing was good), we made a big meal for family and he seemed to enjoy his day.

I decided a while back that I was going to cut Ben’s hair today. It’s part of my obsessive perfectionist issues. I cut his hair at exactly eight months, I cut it again at exactly ten months…you get the picture. I imagine one day I’ll get over it.

So he needed a bath rather desperately after digging into that awful cake. The last few baths he’s had he screamed his way through, so I decided to get in with him. I cut his hair a bit before I ran the water in the tub and figured that would be all I could do because of how wiggly he was being. So we got in the tub, he didn’t freak out (much) and I gave him a good scrub. Then I decided that I may as well try to cut his hair a bit while he was in the tub and his hair was wet. It was ridiculously long before, but I don’t feel quite ready to buzz him yet. So I got the scissors and a comb and started randomly grabbing chunks of hair and snipping away. All the while I’m thinking, “This is probably a bad idea. It’s going to look terrible…I don’t even know what I’m doing!”

So he sat for a few minutes and a few snips and then squirmed and splashed so much that I decided to give up. But then the perfectionist in me reminded me of how uneven the whole thing was going to look. Okay, fine. So I did the only thing I could to get him to settle down. I nursed him. In the bath. While cutting his hair. It worked.

And not only did it work, it worked well. I got it done and it looks great. The parts that don’t look so good are those that I did before the bath, trying to be more precise. The rest of his hair was just combed up straight and then about half an inch or so cut off. I grabbed pieces as I could and tried to get each part of his head. In the end, we were covered in hair and had to shower off, but at least it got it done. Now I can get used to him looking like a little boy instead of a baby before I buzz him with the rest of the boys in the family.

Here’s a few pictures. 🙂




Filed under Holidays, Kiddos, Life, in general

Quieting the Rumour Mill

Okay, there aren’t actually any rumours about this…yet…but it seems that everyone has been asking lately if I’m pregnant again.

I’m not.

My sister-in-law has just announced her third pregnancy – and she’s already fifteen weeks! So now that Ben is ten months old and another member of the family is expecting, people seem to think I must be as well.

I’m not.

Here’s the thing – I breastfeed like a maniac. I’m not kidding. Ben nurses a good deal of the night and quite a few times during the day as well. I practice ecological breastfeeding, and while it obviously has the potential to fail, just like every other form of birth control (aside from abstinence), I have yet to display any…ahem…”signs” of fertility since Ben’s birth. It seems as though people have this picture of us – that we only go about six to nine months between pregnancies. But here’s the thing – we only did that once. Jenny was only seven months old when I got pregnant with Elias. Otherwise our spacing is closer than the average, but has been a year at minimum with all three boys. Generally I’m ready for another baby when my youngest is around a year. I can say that if it happened now, it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but I wouldn’t say I’m hoping to get pregnant right now. First I’d love to get a solid night sleep. 🙂

Another assumption people make – although mostly people who don’t really know me – is that we’re done.

We’re not.

I cannot say for sure how many kids we will have. My heart would love somewhere in the neighbourhood of..say, eight? But my hubby feels a bit differently about it and so we will more than likely not end up with that many. You never know, though. At the moment I’m praying that Mike and I end up on the same page and that we both have peace about whatever decision is made regarding additional offspring. For now, we will have at least one more and if that baby is a girl, Mike may want to quit. If the next one is another boy, he more than likely will not want to stop. We both really want Jenny to have a sister.

Anyway, just felt like clearing a few things up. It seems I get asked once a week or more whether I’m pregnant yet and probably as often if I’m done having kids. The answer to both questions, emphatically, is no. 🙂

*Oh, and I’m sure someone is going to say, “But how can you know for sure that you’re not pregnant if you’re not getting a monthly visit from Aunt Flo?” My answer to that: I took a pregnancy test last week. Negative. 🙂


Filed under Kiddos, Life, in general

Ben can do fist pumps, too!

Psst…check it out: Ben is on Today’s Letters for Fist Pump Friday! If you haven’t given this blog a read yet, DO IT! It’s always fun and a bit sappy, which is completely appropriate for a happy, healthy marriage. 🙂

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Filed under Blogging, Kiddos, Photographs

Various photos of my beauties

I wanted to post a picture of both Erik as a baby and Ben, today, sleeping in the high chair. So I set about combing my files for the picture of Erik at about nine months, passed out after a meal. What I found were hundreds (thousands, actually) of pictures of my little ones.

I adore them.

In order of age, here are my babies in some pictures I just love.

Jenny, at ten months. We always had such a hard time getting her to smile for pictures. Or at all, really. But she was just so lovely. And she just gets prettier all the time.

Jenny, just a few months ago, being her goofy, smiley self. I cannot believe she’s going to be six this year. Six!

Elias, at nine months. I have always loved this close-up of my boy. One of my favourite kid pictures ever. Look at his pouty little lips!!

Elias, in November, aged four. This kid is gorgeous, and looks so much like his daddy.

Erik at five months. My itty-bitty boy. I always called him Munchkin back then.

Erik on New Years Eve, two and a half years old. Doing his cheesy grin. He’s possibly my least photogenic child at this point in his life. He runs away half the time I get the camera out, and does a big cheesy grin the other half. He’s still itty-bitty, by the way. 🙂

And finally, the kid you probably see the most of here, anyway, Ben. This is from August, so he was around three months old here. Chubby and happy.

This one is just after Christmas, making him seven months old. They change so fast.

Thanks for letting me overwhelm you with photos. I don’t usually post so many, but today was one of those days, and I need to look hard at these blessings and be thankful for them. And I am. Over and out.


Filed under Kiddos, Photographs